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My Past Will Always Begin

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My Past Will Always Begin
00:00 / 01:50

 

I came here to clear my mind
All that tears me from behind.
My past seems to get the best of me
When I hear their voices and can see

Myself as their wanton hole
As they destroy what I know,
Taking my humanity
Stealing my serenity.

I come here among the trees
To whisper upon my knees,
They can never have my inner light
My spirit will not break in the night.

For I know who and what I am
That I am not their slave of sham.
Their nightmares must fade away
As my timing to their dismay

For I chant the sounds of the divine
Hoping for peace and of the sublime.
If only I could shut the door
To their invasion of my core.

Why do the voices never leave?
Why do they continue to haunt me?
What will it take to make them disappear?
Time they have left me in my later years.

For though they controlled my world of doom
As a child and an adolescent too.
As an adult I became aware
Of their evil laugh and ugly snare.

My self esteem with their echo in my mind
My psyche they damaged as I try to find
A way to exorcise them from my past
Only to find that to do so at last,

Will be the end of my childhood nightmare
That to lose it finally and find it fair.
I dwindle in self pity at their dark lies
Desperate at any cost to lose the cries

Of a child harmed in so many ways,
Of a childhood that took many days
To end finally, a woman to become.
Only to find if I am completely numb

Then I can no longer feel all I need to be.
So morose that I find I will never be free
Of their torture as their voice finds me again
The terror of my past will always begin.

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