I Wonder Why
All I do is think and dream of you
I hear your voice in my ears too
I smell your scent as you hold me close
I feel the love in your tender touch like a ghost
Every waking moment you occupy my mind
Then I see you in my dreams as I try to find
The reasons I doubt your word as truth,
Why I don’t trust you will follow through
With plans made together; to be with each other.
Some how, I feel you’re going to let me down
If I place my faith in the fragile love we’ve found.
I know that I’ve loved you since the day we met
But somehow you’re love for me; you refuse to admit.
I hear the echo of your words spoken to me
“Love with a little ‘l’, and you don’t see
The hurt in my eyes, nor the twist of my heart
As you casually dismiss me and break a part
Of my love for you, off into pieces I can’t fix
Assuaging my pride, as I bite my lips
So that I don’t say what wants to come forth
“I love you, G, even if you don’t care.” I shut the door.
And wonder why I keep hanging on to a man that does not care
Believing you are just stringing me along, as deep into your eyes I stare
Memorizing the dance of light at play
And the way you ask me if I’m okay.
I feel as if I’m cramping your style
After all, I’m no blonde you adore all the while
I sit next to you needing your affection
My eyes and demeanor begging for your attention.
Time and again you push me away
Removing my arms from around your waist
And putting me on a bus for home
So you can go back to admiring her alone.
I guess I understand now why we are not lovers
I’m not a pretty young blonde or your bartender
But a poet and intellect that stimulates your psyche
And this scares you as you’re afraid you’ll no longer be free
To keep your ways of charming those who serve you well
They do not have a clue what you’re about and can never dwell
Within the realm of your aura and loving soul
Never will they understand you, nor will they know
How to hold you at night without selfish greed
Nor will they listen to your thoughts of deep
Profound wisdom with vision your guide
For in simplicity their shallow souls glide.
Superficial and empty of the extreme emotion
That you and I are capable of in devotion
I think you’re afraid you will lose control.
As I give to you my spirit, heart and soul.
You say it’s because I remind you of yourself
Because I understand the mystical and can tell
When you recite wisdom from visions of the past
And our lives together that did not last.
But I do not think we did not love or care
More like circumstances would not allow us to be there.
This is our time, I only wish you would see
And let our love flow, as sweet it will be.
Better than any one night stand or casual fling
Making love to each other, our spirits will sing
In perfect harmony achieving an ecstasy
That only twin flames are able to reach.
I love you G.